March 8th, 2016

Somewhere, long ago

I went to seek love from another

And in that moment

They rejected me.

I shrank

In that moment my Being was diminished

From that small place I told myself

A story

It went something like this….

“I am not worthy enough to have my basic needs met”

In that moment, when I wanted to be seen

I was invisible.

The story became my life

The story of never having quite enough

Of always being in short supply

Of not being seen

Fully

Understood

Completely

For simply being me

Now

As a 55year old woman

I find the story at its peak

It is an old, tired story.

Shared by many.

Our longing

Sweet, painful longing

Is to be seen in our glory

Our sweet, angry, ugly, powerful wholeness

And loved as we are

Today I meet the me who has grown up from this story

Who opens her arms to its lies and illusions

Who knows that I, you, we

All

Seek to be seen, heard, understood

This is our longing

Bone deep

I will continue to be unseen by many

Dismissed

Again

Not because I am not worthy

But because those who dismiss me are lost in their own dismissal

What I can gift them is love and compassion

What I can gift them is seeing them

Seeing their essential selves, as they cannot yet see

What I can gift me is the grounded knowing of my own value, of what I have to offer in service to the world

Steadfast, pure, no flashing lights or megaphones required

I can lift my head

Steady gaze

And say

Yes

I see me

I recognise me

I love me

Here is what I bring

And no you cannot be the thief who takes from me

No longer

And yes, for those who stand beside me

And meet with mutual respect

Let’s play