Seven Steps to a Successful Mentor Relationship

It is advantageous to know the process steps to a successful mentor relationship that works from both the mentor and menthe point of view. You may have numerous mentors and it is useful to know what stage of relationship you are in. Note that some of these relationships will go through all steps in one meeting whilst others could take weeks or months.

I would say that a successful relationship is one where both the mentor and mentee get value and believe it has been a good use of their time rather than a nice chat every now and again without structure, it is equally not a school room learning session where one is taught. If both see value in the relationship then it opens up for future time together. Remember that typically there is no financial exchange for a mentor relationship and so there needs to be value for the mentor in other ways and hopefully the mentee is getting valuable perspective and ideas

Step 1: Choosing the mentor

Finding the appropriate mentor is extremely important, given this is a relationship if you start off with the wrong mentor then it is going to be hard to get the appropriate value from the relationship. Some of the factors that are important to consider would be:

• is there something about them that you admire, respect
• do they have knowledge/experience that you would like to get access to
• are they willing to take the time to work with you
• will they give you freedom to be you or do they simply want a mini-me

If you answered yes to all of the above then they are worthy of you reaching out to see if they would be willing to mentor you and then you can start to build the relationship and connection and get value

Step 2: Connecting as humans

This is the foundation of the relationship, this is where you get to know each other, finding shared interests/passions and not necessarily jumping in to the business. Building a solid emotional connection and building trust so that you can both be more open and transparent with each other to get to the heart of the matter quickly.

Step 3: Setting expectations

What sort of a mentoring relationship do you want to have?

Is there a goal to the mentoring? a certain issue, problem that you have and would like advice on?

What do you want to get from the mentor that you couldn’t get quickly from reading a book or watching a podcast?

How many times and how often would you like to meet?

Step 4: The truth

Without any facades what is the true situation that you are in.. and from the mentor point of view what is the truth from their experiences that they can share with you. How will you know you have had success. What are the areas you need support in and why, what evidence do you have etc

Step 5: Key actions

Agreed actions that you will implement and can therefore share with your mentor assuming this is agreed in your expectations with them

Step 6: Checking in

For both the mentor and mentee to check in with each other as new things are being implemented, new learnings etc.

Step 7: Checking out

Once you have what you need from the mentor its time to say thank you and end the specific mentor relationship. Of course you can continue to be friends and have catchups and chats if you choose to. However if you want to pick up the mentor relationship with another goal in mind in the future then the more respectful you can be of the mentors time the better.

You can also switch from a mentor relationship to a paid coaching/consulting/facilitating relationship which typically will come at a cost either in equity in the business, or cash payment or a % of a future fund raise etc